Language commonly stresses only one side of any interaction.
– Gregory Bateson
What is the driving force behind human interaction and our innate will and aggression towards our associative qualities? What is the purpose of our like musings upon ill-fated correspondence that results from clear transgressions of purposed conversations, interactions, and relations? Why do we subject our will, perception, status, and psychological health with such crap?
Human interaction, to say little and not enough, is dynamic. From the second we are born we encapsulate a majority of our finite will upon creating and maintaining relationships. Besides the obviously connotations of survival; human interaction is bread towards societal position, replication, status, perception, benefit, and conflict. Think back to when you were younger; say in the elementary school playground. Every situation you faced was predicated, formulated and constructed around key fundamental factors such as social rank, group perception, and intrinsic psychological perception. These situations were acted upon with force from your own theory of mind, perception, analysis, will, and wants. Whether you actively stepped out and mindfully understood how you operated is to each their own. However, particular commonalities amongst typical children guild such actions without mindful self-analysis and dive straight into innate unconscious actions and motives.
As such, human interaction can be, and is, driven from myriad factors both conscious and unconscious. Unconsciously; viewed actions and perceptions are built upon exterior human movement such as stance, look, facial features, positional relation to others, the amount we connect eyes during conversations, the words we use, tone, pace, and timbre. Confusingly, these subliminal actions are formulated upon our own deep understanding and will within such sociological situations and relationships. The true amount of interpolations of such known innate qualities and motives is well behind the breadth of my thoughts. However, it does build who you are and how you conduct yourself.
One’s mindfulness at how we logically, purposely, and cognitively move about such social environments is, for a good majority of the time, focused upon their ability to negotiate theory of mind intentionalities. Theory of mind intentionalities are essentially one’s ability to focus their actions upon the perceived response of others based upon their own actions. It’s our innate ability to show intrinsic empathy and logical reasoning about what others think. In humans this process can compound towards four or five different levels of understanding. Having the ability to understand someone else’s state of mind is vitally important to our own existence and social presence. Example of third order intentionality: I believe my grandfather thinks that my daughter wants some of his dessert. Further; forth order: I believe my dad, John, knows that our neighbor, Richard, thinks that my friend Sue doesn’t believe his yard is up to par with the rest of the subdivision’s. Logically situating these types of actions around or within relationships is how we move about social atmospheres and develop socially.
I believe a great deal of people, for which many are of my own correspondence, rely upon unconscious motivations and lack true mindful purpose towards their relationships. By such, I mean truly cherishing solid meaningful relationships and pushing to foster greater stability and quality. Sadly these types of actions leave many in a modulated wake of turmoil and pain. Relationships, of which those that matter innately, are built upon conscious thought and concise logic. I believe we, as a population, only consciously build meaningful honest relationships. The process of keeping meaningful relationships is often, in my experience, a very delicate balancing act of truthfulness, logic, theory of mind, and lying.
I posit that those that are genuinely good at lying are also extremely good at analytically reading other’s minds based upon their extrinsic, and often unconscious, aura. Sociologically built theory of mind intentionalities projected through negative means such as lying build false pretenses and stability issues that typically, when large and complicated enough, fail to support solid relationships. Sadly though, maintaining suitably stable friendships and relationships is well within the means of even IQ deficient people. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that it is easy to logically manipulate a majority of people.
So, where in the world am I going with this?. Not very far. It’s a really expansive way to say that friendships are often crap. Relationships easily develop and degrade through lack of mindfulness and conscious thought. People manipulate truth to support their own fabrications of intentionalities within their own logical thought processes of happiness. How others perceive happiness and the subsequent arrangement of acquaintances is at the heart of insidious theory of mind development that truly ends up hurting people.
The unfortunate conclusion is that in today’s society little room is left for quality that is not filled with quantity of impersonal relationships. Depth of relations is often mistaken for social positioning and disingenuous inducements. Further, never can any relationship be free of sociological, hierarchical, or dominance influences. The point to which we suspend such agencies and allow quality mindful relationships to foster is paramount in developing fulfilling life.
Why do we as individuals push the envelope of supporting friendships with dishonesty? Why do we push each other so others “think” we can make things appear to be honest, just, and even cause worthy? Why do we risk the hurt and pain we put on others through such means?
I have no solid answer. Well, besides the innate quality to only think for ourselves, lack empathy towards others, support our own perceived path towards happiness, and screw anything that walks. I guess Freud had a point.
I will say this though:
Be better. Strive to be better to those that truly matter. I cant say this enough: there are those in your life that you are not giving the right amount or direction of thought or time towards.
Be better than yesterday.